American Sections in Grocery Stores

Dear Frau or Herr Person in Charge of Stocking the American Section of the Grocery Store,

What can be made with generic Cheese Whiz, Marshmallows and Fluff? I'm waiting because in all honesty, I don't know either and like you, now, I have also been asked that question. As an American (even, a native American* as I have been called) I have no real attachment to any of those items. I have never purchased Cheese Whiz, or any other cheese-like substance that comes from a pressurized can, I say cheese-like because to the best of my knowledge the stuff isn't even real cheese. As for Fluff, my cooking guru says that it can be used in fudge and we suppose that it could also be used as a shortcut in making Rice Crispy Treats. Though in my case, this is a moot point as you don't carry Rice Crispies. Of this threesome marshmallows are the most usable. They can be melted to make Rice Crispy Treats, roasted to make s'mores (if you carried graham crackers) or you could engage in my very favorite marshmallow activity and throw them into the campfire and watch them melt and ooze and grow and sometimes even explode.

As an American, I would suggest that you eliminate the cheese whiz stuff entirely -- it's only redeeming value is in making neat designs in it as it comes out of the can -- and greatly reduce the amount of marshmallows and Fluff. Instead I recommend you start stocking real American foods and by "real" I do not mean anything that is actually made by a German company (I don't care what that cookie company said, those were not real American style chocolate chip cookies). Instead I suggest the following items: chocolate chips, American brown sugar (yes it is different than German brown sugar), low sodium Rice-A-Roni (the San Fransisco treat), canned pumpkin (I recommend Libby's brand), Kraft Cheese and Macaroni (also called Easy Mac), graham crackers, more Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines or Pilsbury cake mixes and frosting jars. I'm certain I can think of more ideas to share with you later.

Finally to any parents with children who want to try American foods, I have the following suggestion. Cook some macaroni noodles, while they are cooking, take a nice orange cheddar cheese, make it into a cheese sauce with milk and butter. Mix the two so that the pasta is completely coated with the gooey cheese sauce mixture. Serve warm. Tell your children it is called macaroni and cheese and that American children love it.

Best regards,

Melissa

* For any non-Americans reading this, "Native American" is the generic term for American Indians. While I am part Native American, the person who referred to me as being native American was referring to the fact that I was born in the U.S. and was rather confused when I tried to explain the American usage of the term.

Success in the Great Molasses Quest

Yes it took visits to at least six grocery stores (more if you count individual branches of the same chain), but perseverance paid off and I can say that I found molasses at the Reform Haus in the Frankfurt Nordwestzentrum (Northwest Center, I find that mildly amusing). The Reform Haus is a health food store (which I think does alternative medicine and bio food as well, I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention) where I was also able to find gloriously unsweetened applesauce (which I also haven't been able to find at 'normal' grocery stores). I haven't tried the applesauce yet, but even if I decide I don't like the taste it can be used for baking purposes.

Anyway, back to the molasses. I don't know what it is about molasses that gets it into a health food store, but I am grateful. My next step is to try mixing it with regular white sugar to see if I can get a usable result.

The quest for real American chocolate chip cookies

I decided I wanted to make some chocolate chip cookies, preferably chocolate chip pumpkin cookies, but I was willing to concede that I had no idea whether or not my local stores carried pumpkin puree (so far, they don't). To my American mind, the major ingredients in a basic chocolate chip cookie are, well, basic. Any American grocery store will carry them all, usually with a variety of sizes and brand names to chose from. So far I have found everything but the chocolate chips and brown sugar (though I am still trying to determine which type of available flour is most similar to American all-purpose flour). The lack of chocolate chips is discouraging, but not fatal, as German chocolate is very good and I can always smash or chop up a candy bar in order to get my little chocolate pieces. In fact proper scientific study might require several types of chocolate bars to be sacrificed to this noble cause so that each can be assessed separately. It will mean making more cookies than I originally intended, but these minor inconveniences are part of living in a foreign country. I will report on the results after I solve the brown sugar problems.

My brown sugar problems are slightly more complex than the chocolate chip problem. Yes, I know that German stores have bags of sugar that are labeled "Braun Zucker" however this brown sugar is different than what Americans call brown sugar (a woman who has never been to North America absolutely insisted this could not be the case because if it is called brown sugar it is brown sugar, the point really wasn't worth arguing). However, I knew about this problem before I got to Germany and am prepared to make my own brown sugar, as my cooking guru (a.k.a. Mom) has informed me that American brown sugar is basically a combination of white granulated sugar and molasses. What I didn't consider was that molasses (Melasse) might not be readily available, partially based on the logic that molasses is an ingredient in gingerbread; gingerbread is associated with Christmas and "Hansel and Gretel"*; Germans are known for their skill at celebrating Christmas and their wonderful fairy tales (Märchen, one of my favorite German words) including "Hansel and Gretel;" ergo I really thought molasses would be findable. Sadly, I was wrong and as I type this, I can say that I have looked in four grocery stores and have no molasses. However, I do have a lead...

*Further research indicates that my childhood memories notwithstanding, in "Hansel and Gretel" the witch's house is not always (perhaps not even usually) made of gingerbread, it can also be made of bread, cake, candies, or chocolate.