American Sections in Grocery Stores

Dear Frau or Herr Person in Charge of Stocking the American Section of the Grocery Store,

What can be made with generic Cheese Whiz, Marshmallows and Fluff? I'm waiting because in all honesty, I don't know either and like you, now, I have also been asked that question. As an American (even, a native American* as I have been called) I have no real attachment to any of those items. I have never purchased Cheese Whiz, or any other cheese-like substance that comes from a pressurized can, I say cheese-like because to the best of my knowledge the stuff isn't even real cheese. As for Fluff, my cooking guru says that it can be used in fudge and we suppose that it could also be used as a shortcut in making Rice Crispy Treats. Though in my case, this is a moot point as you don't carry Rice Crispies. Of this threesome marshmallows are the most usable. They can be melted to make Rice Crispy Treats, roasted to make s'mores (if you carried graham crackers) or you could engage in my very favorite marshmallow activity and throw them into the campfire and watch them melt and ooze and grow and sometimes even explode.

As an American, I would suggest that you eliminate the cheese whiz stuff entirely -- it's only redeeming value is in making neat designs in it as it comes out of the can -- and greatly reduce the amount of marshmallows and Fluff. Instead I recommend you start stocking real American foods and by "real" I do not mean anything that is actually made by a German company (I don't care what that cookie company said, those were not real American style chocolate chip cookies). Instead I suggest the following items: chocolate chips, American brown sugar (yes it is different than German brown sugar), low sodium Rice-A-Roni (the San Fransisco treat), canned pumpkin (I recommend Libby's brand), Kraft Cheese and Macaroni (also called Easy Mac), graham crackers, more Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines or Pilsbury cake mixes and frosting jars. I'm certain I can think of more ideas to share with you later.

Finally to any parents with children who want to try American foods, I have the following suggestion. Cook some macaroni noodles, while they are cooking, take a nice orange cheddar cheese, make it into a cheese sauce with milk and butter. Mix the two so that the pasta is completely coated with the gooey cheese sauce mixture. Serve warm. Tell your children it is called macaroni and cheese and that American children love it.

Best regards,

Melissa

* For any non-Americans reading this, "Native American" is the generic term for American Indians. While I am part Native American, the person who referred to me as being native American was referring to the fact that I was born in the U.S. and was rather confused when I tried to explain the American usage of the term.